He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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