What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
