my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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