he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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