i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize