I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
