The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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