8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
