I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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