Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
