We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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