what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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