her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i came on her dog
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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