walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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