did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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