there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
