I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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