He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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