you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
