Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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