operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize