I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
