then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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