I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
