Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
