Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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