listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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