I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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