idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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