Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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