i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
