No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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