Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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