Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize