I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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