I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
