ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize