Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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