you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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