You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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