so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
