So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
