Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
