I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
whose parrot is this?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
