thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
