Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
