Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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