youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
