ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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