when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
