were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
