He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We were destined to go to rehab together
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
