so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
