Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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