so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
