if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
