I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
