You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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