Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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