I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize