you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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