help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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