Cold hands, warm shart.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
FUCK WHALES
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
