turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
