Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
