Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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