and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
