hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
